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the device

by tonyrobots (dreamed on Sunday, September 09, 2012)

I was in Saddle River, NJ for work, and I needed a place to stay for the week. I heard of this fancy-seeming resort type place that had rooms for rent, so I drove over there. There was a gate (more like a garage door, really), that opened when I pushed the button, so I got back in my car and drove it, letting the gate close behind me. As I sat there trying to figure out what to do, I noticed the gate opening again, so I got out of the car and quickly pushed it out of the way. (It was very light and easy to push.) A sports car sped in behind me and drove very fast and recklessly away, though the parking lot. I pressed on.

I went into a building and found myself in some fancy-seeming banquet hall. I noticed some stairs downwards and figured they might lead to the office, so I took them, and was right. And even though it was nighttime, probably 8 or 9pm, there office was still open.

I walked up to the desk and people most ignored me, even though they were also standing right there, until finally they didn't and someone asked if they could help me. I (rather fumblingly) explained that I was in town for work and was looking for a place to stay for a few days, maybe even a week. The woman's interest seemed to pick up a tiny bit, but she quickly explained that they can't just let anyone come and stay -- it could be dangerous for the other residents, and plus my last name might make people uncomfortable. (I hadn't given my last name, so I assumed this was a hypothetical concern, if, say, my last name were "Manson," or "Dracula.") I tried to charm her a bit by smiling and laughing and saying "I went to Saddle River Day School as a kid, if that counts for anything." She said it didn't, and didn't really seem to know what it was, which seemed odd since it was just a few minutes away. She said she was from Brooklyn, and said if it wasn't a Brooklyn school she wouldn't have gone there. I told her it was a private school, so people could go from wherever, and that there had been some kids from Brooklyn there. (Which was a lie, to my knowledge.)

The charm offensive stalled, she then asked if instead of a room to sleep in I had considered the relaxation device. I said I hadn't, so she popped a tape in the VCR and showed me a video.

The video was of some nature shots and then quickly cut back to a room that looked not unlike this office where an Indian woman was sitting slumped in a chair and screaming -- a sort of half ululation and half just anguish. I took out my iPhone to record some of it because it was just so crazy, but then I got self-conscious and put it away. I didn't want people to think I was making fun of them, or get kicked out for some sort of espionage.

I looked at the box the video came in, or maybe it was the box for the relaxation device itself? Or a brochure for the place? It mentioned the device had "ball" and "dribble" modes. I had just about decided that this was crazy and not for me, when another Indian woman came by and said "Did you get your weed ticket?" (to redeem some free quantity of marijuana, was my understanding) And when I said "no", she gave me one and said "Follow me, I want to show you the 50' long canal." At that moment, I was swept along, and didn't have the guts to back out, so I went to see the canal.

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